At its heart, “Hypnotherapy and Me” is a relationship story.
How it entered my life (I needed to change), what problem I was hoping it would solve? (me not thinking about myself) and what I expected versus what actually happened (underwhelming).
Hypnotherapy and me. How it got off to a bad start.
I use to work in advertising. Soho to be precise. And it was all too easy to leave the office at the end of the day and walk a few yards into a lovely pub, wine bar, restaurant, or maybe all three in turn.
I loved my job (copywriter, then creative director) and I got to a point where I loved the eating and drinking even more.
One hot summer’s evening I was waiting on Oxford Street in a queue to go down into Oxford Crocus tube. I looked in the window of the Nike store only to see a man staring back at me sweat rinds bundle the arm of his polo shirt and belly handing over his chinos: me.
That was my trigger.
And what happened next taught me two things.
Firstly, you need to want change. In that moment I realised I couldn’t go on and was wasting my life. I was my decision to change.
I remember going to the pub the next night and saying I’d become fat, why didn’t anyone point it out to me? My friends replied they thought I was happy.
Secondly, I needed a plan. It was not enough to say I needed to change. So I decided no more tea, coffee, carbs, or alcohol. Not very scientific, but dramatic.
My weight came down from just over 20 stone to around 13 and a half.
At first I couldn’t even exercise. I thought I’d start with a 5k. After about ten minutes the tug of my belly on my back gave me back ache. I had to walk home.
It was at this point I saw a hypnotherapist thinking they would help.
They didn’t.
I was asked to shut my eyes and relax. First there was a ‘click’, then a door opened and closed.
The click was a hypnosis CD starting. Then the hypnotherapist popped out for a cup of tea only to reappear just before the recording ended.
It made no difference, but in that process I saw how it could work.
So when I thought about re-training I looked at becoming a hypnotherapist.
I went on a taster day. And they asked if anyone wanted to have a go at hypnosis, then hypnotising another. My hand shot up - no one else’s did - and I loved it.
Hypnotherapy and me. What I did next.
Alongside my training I realised I had to make better use of my time. I’d been wasting it.
So I set myself some challenges. To run a marathon. Do an Iron Man. Climb Mont Blanc.
Did all three. I’ve now done eight marathons, three Iron Man events and climbed Mont Blanc.
It come down to something I now value and understand.
The clock is ticking for us all. Don’t waste time. Set goals and see what you can do.
It all comes from a book that my tutor at The UK College Of Hypnosis, Mark Davis, recommended to me 'Meditations'. More about reading later.
Hypnotherapy and me. What it felt like.
I’ve written plenty of blogs about what hypnotherapy is and how it works.
I thought here it would be best to try and describe what it feels like to be hypnotised.
So after my initial false start I’ve been hypnotised plenty of times by fellow practitioners since my qualifying. Especially as we do our continuous professional development.
It’s different for everybody, but for me there was a tremendous sense of relief. A feeling that everything was going to be alright.
Usually at the end I don’t want to come out of hypnosis. I want to stay there.
I’ll name check the three VERY best practitioners that changed me most - Yasmin Khan, Angela Cain and Diane Woolrich.
Long and short I LOVE IT.
Hypnotherapy and me. How life has influenced my work.
Life happens and I firmly believe that is what has made me a better hypnotherapist.
I moved back home to help mum nurse dad until he died of a brain tumour. He’d smoked all his life and this was the price. When he died the tumour was the size of an orange.
Then less than. Year later mum died I front of me in less than three hours of a stroke: a massive intracranial bleed.
Also along the way I’ve had two children and been divorced. So plenty of ‘life events’.
And because you never know who will walk through the door
The joy of what I do is in the challenge. The challenge of never fully knowing who will walk through the door and what they have experienced and want to dial down in their life
I’ve seen around 2,000 clients and had about 5,000 hours of clients appointments.
The age range I’ve worked with is from 7* - 87.
*The seven year old was afraid of being hit by rain. They’d spent COVID inside.
Who do I work with? I take all comers. The stressed. The anxious.
Apologies if this bit becomes a bit list-y.
I frequently work with phobias - flying, heights, dogs, vegetables, rollercoasters, needles, emetophobics.
Addictions - cocaine, crystal meth, heroin, ketamine, cannabis, porn, gambling, cross-dressing.
Children - bullying, ADHD, Autism, Aspergers, SEND, Exams (11+, GCSE, A level, Oxbridge), girlfriend/boyfriend issues, stage fright.
Driving - tests, fear of motorways and high bridges.
Sports performance - ultra runners, mixed martial arts (worked with European champion), professional footballers, motor racers trying to get into F1, golfers, horse riders who have lost confidence.
Insomnia and restless legs
All branches of the armed forces including drone pilots, soldiers returning from Afghanistan and life after the forces when there’s less structure.
To give an example here, I had a veteran who was out on patrol from Bastion and saw a donkey on the wasteland. Children ran to play with it and stroke it. As soon as they got with two/three paces the donkey was detonated.
Childhood trauma, abandonment and sexual abuse (this includes male rape).
Loneliness
Bereavement - parent loss, partner loss, child loss, a much-loved pet.
Cancer sufferers - coming to terms with a diagnosis, pain management of the treatment,
Early onset Parkinson's disease
OCD
Functional Neurological Disorder.
I’m also the official hypnotherapist for Horse & Hound for all matters relating to performance, confidence, dealing with falls, horse death trauma, and arena anxiety.
Now, what’s your story? Fancy a chat?
The reason for writing all this down is quite simple. I wanted to tell my story. If you come to see me it’s all about you. You know me now.
What I do is essentially Cognitive Behavioural Therapy through hypnotherapy. Changing the way you think feel and act calmly.
And that’s why I called my business The Gentle Mind. You make better, kinder, decisions about your self when you’re calm.
I’m at jamesthomas@thegentlemind.co.uk or you can call me on 07787563099.
Come and meet me in Leeds, York or Harrogate.
Hypnotherapy and me. Some reading
I enjoy reading around the subject and take inspiration from all over. Here are a few books I recommend to clients and why.
The Chimp Paradox. A complete guide to neuroscience - how we think - in one easy-to-read book.
Man's Search for Meaning. By a holocaust survivor. How much we can endure with the right mindset.
All That Matters. Chris Hoy faces his terminal cancers and inspires us to wring every last ounce out of our lives.
Be Useful. Arnold Schwarzenegger admits he needs help. The honesty shines through.
Meditations. Marcus Aurelius writes his thoughts down on how to be a better man. Stay humble. Learn from defeat. (He's the emperor in the first ten minutes of Gladiator played by Richard Harris.)
