The Gentle Mind

Men, the midlife crisis, menopause, hypnosis and hypnotherapy

Women are well aware of the fact that they will enter into the menopause eventually.

For men, it’s rarely discussed. Their version is called the andropause (or the man-o-pause’). Technically andropause refers to a time when men’s reproductive hormones drop. It happens between the ages of 40 and 60.

This can lead to erection issues or impotence. Some of these are physiological, but often they can be psychological. A start in a change in mindset.

It’s not all about a Harley a tattoo and a mistress

This change of mind in middle age is generally laughed at as older men try and wear leather trousers, buy electric guitars and sports cars.

Not so. Beyond the joke there lies a whole raft of other feelings.

Am I good enough? The feeling that I haven’t done as well as my peers/school friends. You start to compare yourself. You look at yourself in the mirror and see saggy bits, look at the cars others drive to school re-unions, see those around you retire knowing you have years more to go.

Is this all there is to success? There you are in the board room. Top of the heap. Rolex. 911. Tuscan holiday home. Kids in private school. But inside there’s a hollow feeling. Is this it? Is this all there is to success? Nothing more? No magic?

What next? You’ve made it half way through your life. It’s ‘downhill’ now. What lies ahead? You can’t see what is going to happen. More of the same? Your youth, teens and twenties is getting further and further away in the rear view mirror. You commute. You work. You tick the years off, to what end?

Have I wasted my time? University. Debt. Marriage. Kids. Mortgage. Climbing the corporate ladder. At one point life was going to be an adventure. But what is it now? Just like everyone else’s. Do you feel you turned left when everyone else turned right?

Why me? Am I alone? Men aren’t great communicators of feelings. It’s easy to isolate yourself. To feel lonely - even in the middle of a football crowd. You’re not alone. But in midlife feelings of being beaten and not enjoying life can rise to the surface. They are self impositions. Let’s get rid of them.

I did everything I was told, where’s my reward? You can feel you’ve been ‘compliant’. Done well at school, uni, job, career, family, kids, good husband, but what’s in it for you? Is this all there is? Well, let’s look at what makes you happy, not others.

What is hypnosis?

Hypnosis is simply a deep state of relaxation where you are able to focus your attention on one thing above all others: my words of encouragement.

No, you’re not in a trance. No, you’re not asleep. You’ll still hear background sounds, but that’s where they are - in the background. Front and centre are my words that you hear and take on board. That’s it.

Hypnosis and hypnotherapy for the male menopause

When you relax with hypnosis you can tell yourself good things about yourself, so all the psychological aspects of the male menopause can become reduced in meaning and not trouble you.

The ‘therapy’ bit is because I’m using hypnosis to calm your conditions. My therapy is based in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. It’s a way of changing how you think feel and act - for the better.

What we’re working on is for you and me to give every stressful thought less meaning. Even no meaning at all.

Who am I?

I’m James Thomas, a Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapist based in Louth, Lincoln and York. I thought It would be a good idea in mid-life to eat and drink my way to 21 stone. Not my best idea. A better one was to change the way I was thinking, feeling and acting. 30 triathlons and seven marathons later (and eight stone lighter) I feel far happier I’m myself.

I believe we are what we tell ourselves.

So, if you want to change your story feel free to get in touch.

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