The Gentle Mind

Therapy in York 2024

'Therapy in York' in this context is a shortened version of the word ‘psychotherapy’. The process of improving your emotions, resilience and psychological well-being. It’s linked with positive changes in the brain and behaviour.

What they all have in common is they’re talking therapies. As the sayings goes, “A problem shared is a problem halved”. By talking you’re cutting away at your concerns. And just think that after a few sessions if you kept halving…

Can York therapists really help?

The long and short of it is yes. To what extent is something you and therapist decide between you. It’s called the therapeutic alliance. Basically it’s the belief you have in one another: the bond. This determines whether you only just slightly move the dial. Or take a giant step forward. It’s like teacher to pupil, athlete to coach.

Therapy in York. Why go?

Because you can’t always talk to friends and family. They may be the problem. Also you might not want to burden or upset them. Talking to a therapist is different. At its core therapy is a safe space to be the fully open, vulnerable, a no-holds-barred version of yourself. Let it all out. You can express your full range of emotions, share everything that’s worrying you. You can even talk about things that are socially not acceptable. Don’t worry. York therapists will listen and take it all in. It’s their job - to support and not judge. It’s called unconditional positive regard.

Therapy in York. Is it right for me?

It could well be. Therapists in York can help you with any of the following:

  • Stress
  • Anxiety
  • Pressure
  • Losing weight/over eating
  • Stopping smoking/vaping
  • Phobias (flying, heights, spiders, injections/needles etc.)
  • The menopause
  • Pregnancy
  • Exams
  • Childhood trauma
  • Addiction - alcohol, cocaine, ketamine, cannabis.

Therapy in York. Which one should I choose?

Ultimately who you feel most comfortable with. Right from the off, when you make contact you want to feel safe and not judged. Understood. Heard. The right therapy in York will help you to feel like this. You’ll believe you can find better ways to cope with your problems and improve your emotional wellbeing. Like I mentioned earlier - you create a great, strong therapeutic alliance.

Why? Because opening up to someone about intimate details of your life can feel daunting.

Research shows that one of the most important aspects of psychotherapy is the relationship you form with your therapist. A strong relationship helps you to overcome the challenges you face in the present and to heal the painful events in the past.

  • Hypnotherapy. Also known as hypnosis uses a relaxed state of mind to treat your conditions and negative thoughts and behaviours.
  • CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy). This is based on the idea that your thoughts, feelings, physical sensations and actions are linked. Thinking about things the wrong way traps you in a negative cycle. CBT aims to turn this around by breaking them down into smaller parts, so you can make change easier.
  • NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming). Literally translated NLP teaches you to better understand how your brain (neuro) processes by the words we use (linguistic) and how that can change for the better (programming).
  • Psychoanalytical Therapy. This is sometimes known as ‘digging deep’ into the subconscious. Psychoanalytic or psychodynamic psychotherapy helps you to understand your problems by increasing your awareness of your own inner world and how it affects past and present relationships and thinking.
  • Person-Centred TherapyAt the core this approach believes you want to develop to your full potential. However, this has become blocked ability by, say, life experiences, particularly those which affect your sense of self-worth. 
  • CounsellingThis involves ‘talking through’ your problems to improve your well-being. The ‘talk’ uses psychological methods to guide. A counsellor will listen sympathetically to identify what’s blocking you and sometimes offer advice. 

How can I tell if therapy is working?

With some therapy in York it’s straight forward. For example, you’ve now stopped smoking and have no interest in ever smoking again. Or you’re no longer scared of flying, or heights.

With others it’s more nuanced. And to answer this it might be worth keeping a Thought Diary. Ask yourself do you feel so bothered by people, places, times, events? And to what extent?

Also as I mentioned earlier do you feel you have a connection with the therapist? Do you feel you’re progressing? It’s not necessarily about liking them - that helps - but do you feel you respect them. Do you feel they’re listening?

Why don't therapists work for some people? 12 reasons why.

We’ve talked about the therapeutic alliance above, but there are other factors that come into play.

1. Your own thinking is standing in the way and you can’t see it. For example, you’re over critical, impatient, your black and white thinking, aggression and anger, unrealistic expectations, unhealthy boundaries, perfectionism. A practical situation might be that you’re overly sensitive to criticism and perceive the therapist’s recommendations as criticism rather than highlighting areas for growth.

2. Your fears create resistance to therapy. You might fear being judged, rejected, having to take greater responsibility for yourself and your recovery, getting better, not getting better, success, and intimacy, to name a few. If these factors stand in the way you can disengage - this can reinforce the fears and leaves the underlying factors unaddressed. So you think therapy is unhelpful.

3. The therapy needs to be specific to your struggle. There isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach to therapy. You may feel that the therapist needs to address the most important area of struggle first before moving on to the underlying reasons that may not be apparent to you. In effect, the therapist needs to tailor their approach to your needs, not the reverse.

4. The goals set can’t be measured. If no goals are set, or the goals are unrealistic, it can make it seem as if therapy isn’t helpful. It’s important for you and your therapist to set milestones that can be measured along the way to success. This is helps keep recovery on track and is an opportunity for praise along the way as each milestone is reached and passed.

5. A mismatch between your struggle and the therapy used. Your therapist gives away too much personal opinion on the therapeutic approaches they believe are helpful. Basically you’ve selected a therapist who’s putting their personal opinions and preferences into the therapeutic approach they use.

6. There’s a clash of personalities. Quite simply you and your therapist don’t get on. You can’t see eye-to-eye. It can seem like therapy is stressful and unhelpful. So walk away.

7. You expected speedier progress. In most instances it’s really hard to say how long it will take to change. Some times it might be a couple of sessions (stopping smoking, a phobia like flying, or heights). Alternatively, clients who struggle with impatience and/or have unrealistic expectations - a common trait if you have anxiety - it can take longer.

9. You’re looking for an inexpensive solution.

There is a price to pay. And some Leeds therapists will charge more than others. A lower price may reflect that your therapist is just starting out. You might not be buying the experience you’re looking for.

10. You’re expectation of recovery is unrealistic.

Recovery takes time, and often lots of it. If your progress is slower than you hoped, talk with your therapist about it. Also you as the client has to be honest with yourself: you need to do the work. So, if your expectations aren’t being met, it might be because they are unrealistic. As mentioned, therapists are often waiting on their clients rather than the other way around.

11. You think you can do it yourself. Many anxiety disorder sufferers are ingenious, highly intellectual, analytical, creative, perfectionistic, and hard working. Therefore, it’s understandable to believe you should be able to overcome anxiety disorder on your own. But if change isn’t happening you need to let your therapist in - a lot more.

12. Resistance. This take many forms.

(a). You hold onto to a bad belief/dysfunction. Why? You’re used to it and would rather go with what you know than change to something unfamiliar.

(b). You find it too risky to let your guard down. So you’d rather remain ‘safe’ than vulnerable.

(c). You feel so low that you feel change is pointless.

(d).You want to stay unwell to avoid dealing with a deeper issue.

(e). You believe your label of “being unwell” or having a “disorder” therefore you can change.

(f). It’s a cost issue. You believe the cost of being unwell is less than the cost of recovery.

(G). Taking responsibility. Change means taking ownership. Your mindset might (wrongly) dictate that you believe nothing will be required if you remain unwell.

Do York therapists genuinely care?

A massive YES. We all have pride in our profession. And to see another person heal, leave all their troubles behind, and have the coping skills to go forward in life is a wonderful thing.

Also therapists have to care. You, the client, can feel when someone’s ‘going through the motions’. No one benefits from this. Care shows.

On a business level therapists want to do a good job. We want referrals, Google reviews. And on a personal level we want to be liked.

Therapy in York. Which one is the most successful?

Quite simply the one that works for you. And how do you find that? It’s not easy. You have to search and ask around (I know, not easy if it’s a sensitive issue).

But it’s here where I have to play my hand.

I’m a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist. A Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapist to be

precise. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is considered the gold standard in psychotherapy. Numerous clinical trials have found CBT to be effective for a spectrum of emotional health challenges, from anxiety and stress to addiction and over eating.

Hypnosis is simply an easy way to make CBT work. In a nutshell you learn how to relax and not be bothered by anything that’s happened to you.

So who am I?

I’m James Thomas. I'm one of the York Therapists. I call myself and my company The Gentle Mind. Why? Because I believe that when we’re calmer it’s easier to learn new skills and let go of old harmful habits, thoughts and behaviours. In effect to be a better version of you.

All you have to do is relax and let go. And I’ll show you how. Call me on 07787563099 or email me at jamesthomas@thegentlemind.co.uk I’m here in York and Leeds.

Frequently asked questions about therapy in York.

1.How long is a therapy session?

Therapy sessions usually last 45–50 minutes. Typically you’d meet your York therapist weekly, but the length of therapy depends on your needs and circumstances.

2. What can you expect during my first session?

During your first session, typical questions are:

  • What are your symptoms?
  • What brought you to therapy?
  • What do you feel is wrong in your life?
  • Questions about your history, including your childhood, education, relationships, current living situation, and career.

3. York therapists. How many sessions do I need?

The length of therapy varies depending on you and the challenge. It might be a few sessions, say, phobias (heights, flying, spiders), or driving (your upcoming test, motorway driving, night driving, crossing the Ouse and/or Humber bridges). On the other hand it might be more. Typically for addiction, a life long trauma, work stress and business coaching.

4. What can happen in therapy?
This is very personalised to you and your underlying condition, but during therapy you might:

  • Talk about your feelings
  • Learn about recognising, naming your emotions, thoughts, coping skills and facing fears - being comfortable being uncomfortable
  • Developing and prating new skills by role modelling and acting out scenarios

5. What are some benefits of therapy?

We’re aiming to create a new calmer version of you. One that can see that past behaviours aren’t working. Learning new skills to create a better version of you: less bothered by events, worried about the future, aware of their boundaries and always learning.

Therapy in York 2024. Examples of challenges in the area.

Students, studying and exams.

The York area is famous for it’s schooling and academia - and that can bring challenges for schooling from the 11 Plus, GCSEs, A levels. And at university level: from home sickness, debt worries, struggling to fit in, to pressure to finish a doctorate.

Professionals.

Be it in the NHS,

or St. John University, government and council departments, law, accounting, management consulting, running a business. All have their challenges. It can be pressure and stress you take home, or vice versa.

Into the countryside around York

In the rural areas around the city there can be a need to talk to someone. Typically loneliness can be a worry. As well as farming - the pressure of the weather and making a living. And if you’re a horse rider you may be out of sorts - lost confidence, or had a fall.

Driving

Sometimes, especially as we get older, we can change our mind about what we think about driving. It can leave us afraid and nervous. The roads are getting busier and the lorries can feel intimidating. Typically driving on the M62, M180, or M18 can feel like a pressurised race. Then there’s the fear of the bridges. Most notably across the Humber and the Ouse. A worry about the height and cross wind can creep in.

Here are my details again if you fancy a chat. Call me on 07787563099 or email me at jamesthomas@thegentlemind.co.uk 

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